But then I realized that nothing had really changed, becausethe one thing he had not proposed was marriage, or even a live-inarrangement, two of the major "milestones," as the lawyers called them,and I was enough of a girl by then to know that this was not my call, asmuch as I thought I loved my man and loved being his girl. Still,somehow I felt no urgency and no worry.Except for my parents. Telling them worried me a lot!# # #Christmas was coming, so I packed the few boy clothes I had left and flewback home to be with my parents for the holiday.It was strange to go to the same old places and have them feel so new anddifferent. They were not different, but I was. Now I noticed the thingsthat women noticed, because I had begun to think like a woman, havinglived almost totally as a woman for several months. Arriving early onChristmas Eve, and biding my time until the day after the holiday, when Iwas committed to tell them about my weird love-life, I employed mytheatrical training. Needless to say, she got the desired effect as she dropped her feet right on the boner she created. She grinned, knowingly, as she touched up her lipstick.I watched her as we walked into the restaurant. Her natural walk and stride would make a dead man get out of her way. We were seated and got our drinks. I just took in her beauty.“Robbie, if I may start this conversation, this is a dream come true for me. I feel like I’ve been freed of the self inflicted pain I’ve forced on myself since we split up. You were an amazing husband that I took for granted our whole marriage because I was shallow, immature, and self absorbed in my own little world. I’ve grown up, Baby. I don’t know what your plan is for me and us and I don’t care as long as I’m with you and you let me love you the way I should have the first time.”“After the divorce, I looked in the mirror one day and asked, “Who are you?”“In the mirror I saw a 32 year old narcissistic adulteress, divorcee whose belly was swelling with a.
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